Sometimes I worry a little about getting the balance right here - whether we say enough or too much. I think I said yesterday that Jane was more wakeful; she was and she is today - but she is also quite distressed. It must be like coming up out of a coma. She expressed her unhappiness at being in the hospice for "what feels like weeks". She is concerned about the drugs that she is on (actually very low doses), she gets cross with us over little things (we can deal with that) and I think she is just thoroughly fed up to the back teeth - and why shouldn't she be? It is a real benefit that the children and I can sit and share our thoughts in this respect.
When I left her this evening to come and have supper with Leo she was much quieter and calmer but these wild peaks of awareness are really hard to deal with both for her and for us. I don't recall if I mentioned I am reading a fantastic biography of Montaigne; his philosophy of suspending judgement on virtually everything seems entirely appropriate for just now - what a timely find!
You really have sent us some wonderful and uplifting messages, blog comments, emails and cards. We relay to Jane what she cannot see; she knows how much you all care.
This journey continues to be full of surprises - one day at a time.
God bless you.
7 comments:
Dear, dear Peter, thank you so much for letting me into Jane's room. It hurts to read of her distress, but it also hurts to be so far away. When she does wake, she sees the three people she loves most in the world. God bless you all xxxxx
I'm doing my deep breathing for Jane that her distress melts away. How wonderful that she still feels she can be herself with all of you who love her without reserve. You bless each other in ways that are unfathomable.
Mass will once again be offered for all of you tonight.
Much love and peace coming across the seas from Texas.
Vivienne, Larry and the children xxx
My Dear Jane & Peter, I have missed your blog for a while & have relied on dearest Jan (Jan from than) to keep me updated. Despite not reading the blog, Jane has been constantly in my thoughts..I light candles and ask for strength for her and...the one thing that I ask for myself & everyone...*peace of mind*.......We go back a long way, school days and singing in the group. She has got the most amazing voice. Remind her of the pleasures of singing "Streets of London" & Scarborough fair...I always thought our harmonies were quite good. Blessed days. Give her my dearest love & tell her that I think she is still the most beautiful person, inside & out, that I know. Big but gentle hugs to her. And Peter...you are doing so well...keep strong. Much love to you both & God Bless you all as a family. Lyn koukoulis
Who can know how Jane feels right now in her mind, body and soul. We are born to survive..... against all odds. Jane has shown us this many times over. One thing I am sure of is that her determination and strength is there because of her love for all the people who are reading this right now. We are still learning from this remarkable woman. Peter, You give us this opportunity to be a part of the journey too. I thank you with all my heart. I pray for strength for you all and that God cradles you in his loving arms. God bless. Xxxx
I suppose that Jane must be having some pretty vivid dreams whilst she's asleep - and on waking, I can imagine that it probably does sometimes feel as though weeks have passed. You are providing her with the stability of reality and constancy and heaps of love - who could ask for more?
We are all asking for peace of mind for you both,
heaps of love - Jenni and Graham xxx
Dear Peter Lydia and Leo - I marvel at how strong you all are it must be so hard seeing Jane so distressed, but as you say why on earth wouldn't you be. As Shane said she is with the three people she loves most and God will surely give Jane the peace of mind that we are all praying for. I just have to look at the photo I have of Jane taken with Jan and I last February when we came to Salisbury, she has her usual beaming smile and it takes me back to that moment and all the laughter, such happy memories. Thank you Peter for sharing Jane with us all please kiss her from me - with love to you all - God bless you xxxx
Dear Peter, I have only recently got into your blog sight and it is lovely to be able to keep up with what is such a difficult time for you all. Jane sent me such a lovely card when my lovely Nicholas died so suddenly last October, she was able to just say the right thing. Please give her our love and let her know that she is in our thoughts, as are you all. 1much love Anna and Geoff xxxxx
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